Lost in Wonderland
Today i'm in 'Shop Wonderland'. I was feeling adventurous and decided to go by myself. Usually I only go to smaller coffee shops if i'm meeting someone as I feel very exposed there. So normally I opt for one of the bigger chains of coffee shops as I find it easier to blend in and go unnoticed. Ironic isn't it - that as a performer I want people to come and look at me but in my personal life I prefer to not stand out. The atmosphere here is very chilled, the food is good, although a bit pricey, but thats to be expected in a trendy place in Haji Lane such as this. I ordered the chicken and mushroom pie, it's a generous portion and the pastry is delicious but sadly there are too many mushrooms and not enough chicken for my liking.
I do like it here though, it's really colourful and fun, and the music is quite funky and not too intrusive. Today is a particuarly quiet day here so there are plently of seats and not much chatter. I still, after almost 2 years, find it hard to sit next to some Asian people when they're eatting. The concept of not talking or chewing with your mouth open sadly doesn't seem to apply here.
It's funny, since being in Singapore, I have avoided having flowers and plants in our apartment as I have been afraid that they will bring ants or cockroaches or worse. But I've now come to realise that i've only been denying myself the pleasure of having beautiful flowers around. They are more expensive here and don't last very long at all with the heat but even one day of colourful flowers can brighten up my mood making it all worth it.
Today's music offering is 'Tonight' by Fun. No dancing today, yet, but it's a catchy upbeat song that certainly got my toes moving!
Being a freelancer means there are times when I have no work lined up, this is one of those times, at least for the immediate future. There are a few possibilities in the pipeline but nothing set yet. This is the hardest time for me. The waiting. The wondering. The trying to make it happen by going thorough all the possible outcomes in my head, over and over again. The constant checking of emails. That uncertain feeling in my stomach that just won't go away. I'm trying to be productive. I have spent a lot of time making work by myself and being on my own and now I want to collaborate with other people. I want to hear other peoples ideas. I want to have people that I can talk to and explore things with. I want to have shared experiences and I want to have fun. But all of these things take time and engery and money. I need to have more courage. I need to take the leap, beacuase if i don't no one else will. "I can. I will. I am. "
Until next time...x