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A Heavy Heart

Mary-Frances Doherty
Apr 1, 2015
2 min read

Today is the 10th Anniversary of my Daddy's death. I find myself remembering things, having flash backs at unexpected moments. Tears stream down my face and I can't control them. Today I have a heavy heart. I thought I was fine this morning. But as the day went on I started thinking about everyone at home and everything seemed to get on top of me. I'm sittiing in Starbucks surrounded by people and I can't stop the tears. But, I'm trying, I'm trying to be strong. I'm having my pick-me-up drink of choice; a hot chai tea latte (along with a cheeky chocolate cookie crumb muffin). And it's working.

Despite the tears and heavy heart, today has been a good day. I had a meeting/interview with Act3 International and it seems I may be able to work with them on some of their upcoming projects. It'd be great if I could get involved with some really interesting and creatively challenging projects working with children and young people here in Singapore. I feel that if I had work here that I was really engaged with I would be happier here overall, so here's hoping! It's the curse of the freelancer though isn't it? When we don't have work we long for something we can commit to and really throw all of ourselves into and yet when we have work we long for the days of ly-ins and relaxed creative thinking time.

I'm excited about what could happen in the future but sadly due to previous experiences, whenever something good happens and I get excited, I immediately always think that something bad will happen. I'm working on this...I can. I will. I am. Exciting things will happen for me and I will be successful. But these things take time, I must have faith and patience while continuing to work for the outcomes that I want.